5.06.2011

You're how old?

Quick rant:

DH is the first man I've relationshiped with who was actually independent.  He could take care of himself, cook his own self food, do his own laundry, pay his own bills, owned is own car.  Going from ex-husband who was none of those things for the most part, it was a breath of fresh air! (Not including the fact that we actually have things in common and he is not a redneck.  But another story for another blog post.. :) )  But, we, well I, ran into a brick wall of "You're how old? And you.." recently.

So last week, due to the unforeseen expenses and condition of Kuro prior to that, I miscalculated DH's lunch time fun times and paid the cable bill, which overdrafted his account.  I don't say "our" account, because my name still isn't on it yet.  In my realm of being, which is a fully functioning adult realm, this is no big drama llama to me.  Shit happens!  His check went through the next day, so all was fine.

I was wrong.

Apparently in the mean time, the bank sent a letter to his parent's house since he's never bothered to update the account address.  In return, his parents called him repeatedly last night to inform him about it. Left him a voicemail and then blew up his phone after 10:30 last night.  Is it just me, or is this really weird?  Because it REALLY bothered me. It wouldn't have bothered me had it been just one "Oh, by the way, two weeks ago you overdrafted! FYI!" Short and sweet background behind being bothered:  from when DH started working until last year, what 7-8 years, his mother took every check he earned and wouldn't let him have the money.  She wouldn't even let him open his own account to put the checks into.  He had to go behind her back to open his account, which did not go over well, so safe to say her name is also on his checking account. Oh, and the kicker is DH has money in savings, but he has no idea where it is. Yes--his mother also has that money. I have so many issues with all of that I wouldn't even know where to start typing.  But, back to subject...

So I just think it is weird that he is a 25 year old grown ass man and his mother still feels the need to control his finances.  Is it just me?  We got into an argument about it last week, about the savings thing, but all he kept saying was "This is the way it's always been."

Things I'll never do to my children, Chapter 1. :/

PS---Metformin is kicking my ass today.  Along with my allergies. Friday Fail!

3 comments:

  1. Ugh, unfortunately that sounds like a typical Asian Mom. I could be wrong but I think that's part of the problem. I have nothing wrong with that culture (I myself was born and lived in Japan, and my godmother is Japanese) but their culture and their ways in Asia are very different from ours. Moms reign supreme and their sons have little say. I would talk to your DH and see if you can talk to the bank and work something out. That is just way to overboard on her part if you ask me. I hope you feel better with the met soon!

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  2. When I first got with my DH, he was a pure momma's boy. And we actually ran into a very similar situation where he forgot to update his phone number, and a credit card company was calling his parents' house. After quite some time of nagging and him seeing his brother being so reliant on his parents, he realized he needed to spread his wings and say enough was enough. However, now we get to deal with his family griping that since I came around, he has distanced himself from his family. It's always something- you get rid of one concern, and two more pop up. I guess that's the joy of in-laws. ;-)

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  3. MIW- I really think you are right. She's that way with his brothers too, and his oldest brother even ran away from home at 17 because he couldn't take her controllingness. She is straight up Korean, and he's the baby boy, as well as the only one who isn't a screw up. I was upset too, because if something were to happen to him (god forbid) I apparently have no idea what's going on, and would be screwed. :(

    PW-I know how that goes! It's very frustrating...but I believe I have nagged enough now that we are opening our own account finally today or Monday. One that will not have his mother's name on it.

    Thanks girls---I was really upset, and then when I wrote this it kinda sounded like I was being crazy. Glad to know it is at least a little justified! :)

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