Cough, cough

This waking up every morning with a mucusy cough is getting really old.  Like I told J, by the time I'm over this, my body will move on to spring allergies.  A day in the life.

Getting our taxes done today.  I'm sure the state of WV will ravage my hard earned pesos per the usual and demand some more.  I do not miss the actual state in the least bit, but I do miss what I've left behind.

Tick, tock!

I'm not updating this like I think I should be! I need to get on that bandwagon.

My appointment for the Infertility Clinic is next week!  I'm torn though.  Unfortunatly my DH has class the day of my appt that he can't miss, so it's either pull my big girl pants up and go by myself, or reschedule it and fight off the impatience demons resting in my mind.  He says he really wants to go, and I know he does, but I'm the worst at waiting! I was crushed when they rescheduled it from March 1st to the 9th, another 7 days might push me overboard. @.@

I'm also back to endlessly wondering what they are going to tell me.  Will they want to do the testing all over again?  Will they just tell me to take Metformin for x amount of time and sweat more at the gym?  Will I get Clomid right off the bat? Sometimes I let all of the negative take over.  It's a dark place I don't enjoy visiting.

I've been having a lot of mood swings lately too.  I'm not sure what is attributing to them; whether it is just stress or loneliness.  For example, yesterday I was incredibly happy all day long, but when I laid down to go to sleep I just wanted to cry and be angry at nothing in particular.  Thank God that J can put up with me, his patience is a gift in itself.

My week currently consists of tax time and girl time. Tres excited for both! :)

Still not used to "Mrs. Fry"

So I had my PCM appointment yesterday, and boy was it quite the experience.  I had to drop my Mr. off at work around 8:30 (my boo-bear is in the field until Sunday/Monday...my bed is cold and lonesome :( ) which was convenient enough considering the MTF where my appointment was was on base where he is.  DC traffic had other plans though, so we were all sorts of late.  For an hour I was driving his car around the base doing all sorts of slave wifey work.  The moral I learned at the doctor's office is that in military land you should never arrive early.  The more on time you are, the quicker they take you back.  I had made a fatal error in judgement by going in 40 minutes early rather than staying in the car reading my book.  My appointment was at 1100, so between 10:20 and 11:30, I recieved the pleasure of watch at least three different groups of people come in, get taken back, come back out, get taken back again, and leave on their merry way.  Though I will say the redeeming light was that once they took me back, they kept me back there and we were done relatively quickly.

Let me start by saying the nurse guy that takes your initial vitals, was creepy. He looked like that guy off of The Lovely Bones, which is probably what creeped me out most.  My blood pressure was also frightening--155/110.  I've never had any issue with my BP, I mean I'm only 23.  They checked it four times though, and ended with giving me a sheet to get it monitored.  I was pleased though, that my PCM was extremely nice---a big win in my book!  She gave me a referral for the fertility clinic too, yes! :)  I can't make the appointment until Friday though, good ol' waiting game.  I'm pretty confident I'll get in quick though, seeing as it only took me 4 days to get into my PCM.  The ball is rolling...finally!

Ready, Set, Go

That's one small step for me, one giant leap into making a baby.

I called and made an appointment to see my PCM today.  Being a military spouse with no military background, I have to say, everything is pretty ambiguous.  The first thing that got me, is that when you sign up for Tricare, and don't have a "civilian" (FYI---I hate referring to things as civilian. Ugh.) doctor you have the pleasure of blindly picking one from a list.  Now that's not to say that that may or may not be how it works in the real world too I suppose.  Picking physicians is all trial and error anyway, right?  I still find it horrendously uncomfortable to place your care in a complete stranger you know nothing about or can get any recommendations of their work.  I went through three OB/GYNs to find one that didn't remind me of the grim reaper.  But now I'm back to square one.  No doctors or comfort in sight.

So Monday is my appointment.  I prepping myself to stand in a line for 3 hours only to see the doctor for 50 seconds to get a referral to an RE. (Reproductive Endocrinologist..it took me a long time to figure that out!)  And then I get the luxury of praying to an upper deity that that person isn't an asshat. Good times are here at last.

My husband may or may not be leaving soon to go on three seperate outings, all of which will have him gone from next week, until the end of March.  It bothers me that I'll be alone, sure.  It upsets me though that I have to go through this process alone.  I know I'll get poked and prodded when I go to this RE, and it was nice to think I'd at least have a hand to hold or at least some reassurance when I went to cry out my body's water supply.  He told me last night during my sob fest to schedule the appointments when he'd be home so he could go.  The thing is, he doesn't know when he will be home.  So here is how the math breaks down for that: one husband who will be in Kuwait "soon" + one impatient beyond reasoning wife + infertility stress = Not happening.

Not to mention, I had this really weird dream two days ago.  But honestly, I'm not really sure if it was a dream or not.  I had woken up several times unable to sleep.  At one point during my haze, be it dream or not, I was telling myself not to worry--because I was already pregnant.  I then during this state had that feeling of completeness.  Safe to say, when I woke up, I really wasn't sure what to think.  Two days later, I still don't know what to think.

Good thing it's late enough after noon to have a cocktail.